Welcome! Come, learn the secrets of the Brotherhood of Intelligence!

Hello. Welcome. Yes. I am serious. I welcome you. Come in, little girl, for I have candy and funny stories to tell! YOU GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND START READING YOU LITTLE BRAT! I KNOW THE GOVERNMENT!
You like? You came because you want to know. Know the untruth. The untruth that you aren't meant to know. The truths, like how life doesn't need sunlight, that's true. But if you didn't know that, take your thumb out of your ass and stop toking that good stuff. By reading this, you will learn the secretions of the Brotherhood of Intelligence. I mean secrets. Secrets of the Brotherhood of intelligence.
Who am I? Call me The Knower. For I know. I know what isn't true, what untruths are being kept from you. What scraps of intelligence no one wants you to not know. I will tell you.
Some people believe that they don't NEED college, or they can't ever get into it. It's true. You will never get into a real college, you're too poor and too damn stupid. And if you're some idiot already IN college, that's not college. That's one of our (The Brotherhood's) propaganda centers. Learn up little munchkins! Fill your filthy brains with false informations, have as much sex as possible, then beat the shit outta the fags and make sure to put the flour in your nose!
Besides, no one'll give you a college scholarship if you're not an idiot.
THE KNOWER HATH SPAKE!