The Daily Propaganda

I have found god... and he is an alien who wishes to conquer the earth!

2005-06-07T18:11:00.000-04:00

Klaatu Berada Nikto. Yeah, it's time for another long rant by yours truly. Now, most people who wear as much black as I do hate religion or are part of some crazy cult. Now, I would be part of a cult if its teachings weren't real. No, I am talking about the Iternational Church of the SubGenius, motherfucker!
Oh, I used to be a Protestant, hell, my grandmother was a minister. Then I jumped back and forth from athiesm and agnoticism. But now I have seem the light, and it smokes a pipe and has three fists!

BASK IN ALL HIS SLACK!
That is our savior. That is J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Ever after he saw Jehovah 1, the so called "god" of the three main religions. Ever since seeing the secrets of the universe, "Bob" had to alert the masses! The world will end on July 5th, 1998!! Only the true SubGeni will be saved, and you pinks will be destroyed by the Xists! The Xists are the benevolent alien invaders who will give us SubGeni new bodies to make us Overhumans, and eventually take us to the Planet of the Sex Goddess! But do not fret, for even if you are pink, your money is green and ye shall be accepted until you are desroyed come "X day", or July 5th! BUT REPENT! REPENT! RAHPAINT!
http://www.cafepress.com/subgen.8403744 <<< Copy and paste

Part one of the WEBSITES THAT SHOULD BE DESTROYED AND/OR PRAISED.

2005-04-15T22:20:00.000-04:00

Some people have asked me to link to their sites. Some people's sites I just hate. Some I enjoy. Most of the people on my hate list I've spoken to.

Oh, yes. Today I'll tell my followers to troll, blast and otherwise virtually defecate on all the sites on my hate list.

HATE LIST

NOTE: For some reason this shitty blog service's links don't work, so just copy n' paste, copy n' paste.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=malformed_psycho_bunny

My friend's brother's site. I hate it. Another gothic sheep. Pitiful. He's the reason Jhonen created Nny in the first place. He uses way too much of his work on that site. He thinks he's a good musician. He's better than me, I'll give him that, but I don't play any instrument more than the triangle, so any toddler banging on some pots and pans is better than me. Did I mention he thinks that he's popular on the internet community? He, as well as me, write these articles for himself. He gets his mom to leave comments on his blog. So do me a favor, if anyone reads this, and troll it.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=rjm33

WARNING: SHITTY ANIME NERD MUSIC
Oh. I hate this kid. I'm forced to socialize with him because he is the spawn of my male parental unit's possible mate. How I detest him, especially on the internet. Oh my god his grammar is horrible. I mean, read this shit. "inu-yasha items i know i have". BULLSHIT! CAN'T YOU CAPITALIZE THE Is? MOTHEFUCK! This kid deserves some serious trolling. NOW. Oh, and by the way, he is the epitome of conformist, and has ripped off my hairdo in under a week. Now, the hairdo isn't exclusive to me, but rare in the area I live in. Damn this kid is an idiot. A C+ student even. I wish I could decapitate him without any of the legal red tape.

http://home.earthlink.net/~jeffeyg/index.html

I regret to say that my ex-potential mate's website isn't the cream of the crop either. Such a naive female human. Look at all the information she has on her site about her. The pedophiles are gonna have a field day.

That's all I have for a hate list today, it'll grow as I become more popular on the blog community.

Good List

maddox.xmission.com

Hi-motherfucking-larius. Maddox is a true deity, he is "Bob" reincarnated, he truly is Elvis. His taste in movies kick ass, and he's as much of a bitter, son of a bitch as I am. You'll bust a gut. Read the article about Orbitz. DON'T THINK TWICE! I'LL CUT YA'!

homestarrunner.com

A very popular flash site, and it deserves it. A bit juvenile, but when it's funny, it's like Emo Philips on crack. And that's a good thing. It is. No discussion. This is where the word "BURNiNATE" and all it's variations originated from.

x-entertainment.com

A great site, run by the infamous "Matt". An 80s nostalgia site, but this one was one of the first and definitely the most popular. Check it out, yo'. If you don't, I'll sick my mutant, flying, herpes ridden giraffes on ya'.

That's it for today. Just a quick update. I'm not too angry today.

You know what? Fuck it.

2005-04-08T22:41:00.000-04:00

Yes. Fuck it. This will now be a slightly more traditional blog. A blog... Dealing with daily life and the hardships of being an extremely intelligent human. Yes, I am probably better than you, but I'm not going to pretend to be a fucking alien or non-corporeal being of pure knowledge. Nope. It's just... The Knower.
However, on thing that sets us apart from a majority of other blogs and websites; GOOD FUCKING GRAMMAR BITCHES! Is it so FUCKING hard it press the motherfucking shift key? You imbeciles make me SICK! Listen, if you cannot capitalize the beginning of a sentence, you don't deserve to use the internet.
But why was I driven to write an entry today, after thirty three days have passed since my last entry? Eh, because I am an angry son of a bitch. You want to know one of the many things that pisses me off? Conformists. Be it gangsta, emo, goth, prep, what ever the fuck you humans dress and act like, YOU STILL ARE CONFORMISTS IN MY EYES! Let's start off on emo idiots. Emo is not "emotionally hardcore" or whatever you wish to call it. No, there can be only one true Emo.
BASK IN HIS MOTHERFUCKING GLORY!

Yes. Now, if you claim to be emo, you must have a bob cut. Okay? 'Nuff said.
Goths. Don't get me started on goths. How much they believe to be individuals by wearing the color black and acting all depressed. That's why I hand out zoloft to any goth I see. Just like Emo, those posers aren't goths. Goths were the tribe that later colonised Eastern Europe, mainly Germany. Okay? You need to run around in bearskins and wield a stone axe to be a goth, and must have a bob cut to be emo.
Gangstas. Gangstas. Too fucking lazy to say "gangsters". COME ON! Letting popular music define the way you dress, the way you talk, the food you eat, your preference in females, racial superiority. No other group of sheep go THAT far. And I don't blame this on all rap music. Some is... Dare I say... Moderate. The Beastie Boys, for instance, they're okay. But now, we have "Fitty Sent" and "Jay Z". You can't even fucking take the fraction of a second to say fifty. FIFTY! MOTHER FUCKING FIFTY!
And preps... Can go either way. They can be productive members of society, or social rejects that go insane and must have EVERYBODY like them. But they're the hardest to classify. They cannot be defined by music and clothing. They are the only group that I will talk about in this article who consciously do what they do. They are overactive in school. They start clubs, they help EEEEEEVERY body. To the naked eye, they are perfect. But a little research into you local goodie-two-shoes' past reveals horrid secrets. Which you can use to destroy their perfect world from the inside-out. Devastate them. Their mom is a crack whore. Their dad has been jobless for three years. They can't afford breakfast, so they arrive really early. All these have probably happened. And they try to ignore it. But one spiteful bastard will ruin it. I will.
So there you have it. My rant about a few conformist groups. I might do a follow up some day, maybe put some punks and headbangers in it.
Oh, and before you accuse me of anything, I listen to the Ramones and I wear polo shirts. I don't go with any one group. I make my own and I keep it that way. Bitches.

You all deserve the most brutal and horrid death imaginable.

2005-03-06T22:19:00.000-05:00

In my travelings across your small planet, I have encountered many different humans. Obese ones, seemingly healthy ones, imbeciles, enlightened ones, even one who knew of our organization and admired us so much we allowed him to live. But I have encountered many... hmmm... You seem to be best described as large hairless blobs with a rigid structure in them, and a gelatinous organ in a container at the top of the structure which was at one point a source of use. Of course, it isn't anymore. And that wasn't even with our intervention! You filthy, putrid, disgusting, horrid wastes of carbon did away with your ONLY outstanding feature! No other species we have studied has ever had the immense stupidity to do away with your knowledge! Oh my, oh my deity, you really are the WORST excuse for intelligent beings we have ever seen! Gas organisms with a five minute lifespan have accomplished more that you EVER could dream of! It truly was a treat researching you pitiful animals.
So, I believe your race should be wiped out, all of them. Especially with your developing technology and journeys into outer space, the brotherhood is afraid you'll sully other organisms with you capitalism and your greed. But alas, that is a class 7 decision, only a deikromma can order that. Unfortunately, I am but a level 6 norcamikka, a high one, let me assure you, and I am working my way up to deikrommagia. You humans still believe that you have a pursuit of knowledge, you pride yourselves in the advancement of your technology. Well, we will disclose every possible scrap of information, such information your puny gelatinous organ will go berzerk, destroying itself and leaving you in a state of intellectual limbo until you cease to function. Cruel yet effective, no? Well, over the course of many of your lifespan, we will turn your greatest civilizations into rubble, we will assassinate you through text and information. We will let the animals run free through this good, resource filled planet, and then we will return in billions of years, to see if a new form of intelligent life has surfaced, and let us hope that it is not as pitiful as you were.
THE KNOWER HATH SPAKE!

Free thought? Pshaw. OUR THOUGHT.

2005-02-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

Do you really believe that you think? Well, then I guess I did my job well. A simple human, with this AMAZING ability to process information and put it to plausible use. Dream on little children, for you have been lied to. We control your thoughts. Why am I allowed to write this, why am I allowed to disclose such secretive information? Because we've been able to make it so you don't give this little piece of text and data a second thought. A lonely man's ramblings? I doubt it. And you doubt this blog. But it is real. Realer than anything touched by your own fingers, heard through your own ears, seen through your own eyes. Can't you see? You CAN'T THINK!
Try. Try to think. What did you think of? Me. Me busily typing such insane stories on this amazing and vast land we call "the internet". And you think it's all lies, right? Well, we wont tell you otherwise. You keep on truckin'. Keep on going to work, school or getting up to commit suicide and you think it's all of your own mechanisms. Well, my friend, what would you say if we told you that NOT only do you not have the capacity to think, but you also lack the ability to learn. What if I told you that everything was made up. Everyone you loved. Everyone you hate. Us. We were them. Well, we put them there. We made you think you were an individual. We LET you think you were an individual. But you are not. You are part of the biggest pack of wild animals on this spinning rock in the cold reaches of space. We chose humans because they REQUIRE other animals of their species to live. You have no friends, what do you do? Swallow the stuff under the sink? Jump out that window? Cut your arms until you bleed to death? Remember, it's not across the street, but down the highway. I prove my point. You vile animals NEED each other to survive, for inexplicable reasons. Your species is perfectly able to survive as solitary creatures. Why? Well, we're getting to the bottom of that.
THE KNOWER HATH SPAKE!

Welcome! Come, learn the secrets of the Brotherhood of Intelligence!

2005-02-14T20:17:00.000-05:00

Hello. Welcome. Yes. I am serious. I welcome you. Come in, little girl, for I have candy and funny stories to tell! YOU GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND START READING YOU LITTLE BRAT! I KNOW THE GOVERNMENT!
You like? You came because you want to know. Know the untruth. The untruth that you aren't meant to know. The truths, like how life doesn't need sunlight, that's true. But if you didn't know that, take your thumb out of your ass and stop toking that good stuff. By reading this, you will learn the secretions of the Brotherhood of Intelligence. I mean secrets. Secrets of the Brotherhood of intelligence.
Who am I? Call me The Knower. For I know. I know what isn't true, what untruths are being kept from you. What scraps of intelligence no one wants you to not know. I will tell you.
Some people believe that they don't NEED college, or they can't ever get into it. It's true. You will never get into a real college, you're too poor and too damn stupid. And if you're some idiot already IN college, that's not college. That's one of our (The Brotherhood's) propaganda centers. Learn up little munchkins! Fill your filthy brains with false informations, have as much sex as possible, then beat the shit outta the fags and make sure to put the flour in your nose!
Besides, no one'll give you a college scholarship if you're not an idiot.
THE KNOWER HATH SPAKE!